Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
