hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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