i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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