This girl is more easily done than said...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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