since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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