sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
