hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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