woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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