I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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