He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
