Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
