I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Someone came in the potted fern
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
