His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
