I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
