Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm always down for nudity.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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