Do you still have your period?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
