He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
