no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
