Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
