at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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