brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
