i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
