NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize