I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
