you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
