Little spoons don't ask big questions
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think people are normalizing furries
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
