I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
