i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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