I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
