WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
