More tranny stories later!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize