By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
