Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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