it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm at about main and main street
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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