Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
