yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i've created a new STD.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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