the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
