hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
