I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
