turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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