I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
