She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
