OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
