how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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