Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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