its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dick very happy bro
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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