dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
