I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
