seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
