and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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