Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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