It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
