The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize