so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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