I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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