We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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