Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
