girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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