i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
And then he peed in my hair
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