I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night