I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.