haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
