Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
