just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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