my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
