one might say we're banned from that church
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
