just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
