You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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