We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
