i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize