Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
